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  • ClutterApartment After
    Watch how plants, animals, papers and other objects sprout and grow in the ClutterHome!! Just like Magic Rocks but taking up way more space!

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006



You sound so composed. Wow. I envy that. Thanks for sharing your thought process. Good luck as you proceed.


I should have read this one before I posted on the last one (with terrible spelling, sorry.)

You sound so much like me at this stage. I asked D if he wanted to co-parent when I was in the considering stages and he told me "no."

I felt so much better in going on by myself. When D later asked to be on the birth certificate and the father, I was happy because I thought it could only help and not hurt. He has grown into being a parent somewhat and He greatly enjoys the kids and they enjoy him.

But to be clear, I am the main parent around here. (For fairness' sake, he's had a lot of health problems this year distracting him.) I do 99% of the work, I do 90% of the thinking, stressing, and planning, I do probably 85% of the financial stuff. I'm so glad he is in their life. But I am by most definitions, a single parent. And mostly , I like it that way.

But I'm glad I went in it alone (even though I dreamed of the fantasy of coparenting as well.) because everything that happens now is just gravy. It's a bonus. Maybe this is unhealthy and I'm screwed up. But I'd rather think of myself as a single mom with an involved father than as a mom in a coparenting situation in which the man isn't contributing much at all. (You know that happens a lot with married couples, anyway.)

Besides, I'm looking forward to the day that they are old enough to be dumped at his place for a few days a month so I can go PARTAY!!

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Books for Clutterchild

  • Andrea U'Ren: Pugdog

    Andrea U'Ren: Pugdog
    Pugdog just wants to be a dog, not a GIRL dog. Adorable illustrations, but a bit of overkill with the poodle ending. (****)

  • Rigoberto Gonzalez: Antonio's Card
    Antonio is nervous to show his mother's card with his two moms after the kids laugh at the butch one outside school one day. Nice to see a butch mom. Extra points for being bilingual English/Spanish. (****)
  • Peter Parnell: And Tango Makes Three

    Peter Parnell: And Tango Makes Three
    Another beautifully illustrated book about gay fathers, in this case, two male penguins in the zoo, who raise Tango, their baby from egg. My only problem, "it takes 2 to make a Tango". drat from the single mom point of view. (*****)

  • Latifa Alaoui: Marius
    Wonderful french canadian book about Marius, whose parents are divorced, and his mom has a boyfriend, and his father does too. Beautifully illustrated by Stephane Poulin (*****)