Founding a Family in Clutter

PV Glider

Well, I may have found a less expensive alternative to the Likeabike for mr Dao the shortlegged! Friends visiting over the weekend (Hi Ina!! wave! wave!) agreed with me that my little man is no where near peddle ready yet, and I do think that for the spring something two wheeled balance-only would be appropriate.

So I found this PV Glider. It has great features, including foot pegs, which when you think about it are strangely missing from all the other likeabikes and ripoffs I've seen out there. I mean really... even motorcycle passengers get footpegs!

So, maybe I'll get this.. .seems like pvc would be a good idea for our rainy slushy springs, vs wood!
Anyone have any experience with these pedal-less bikes?

On another note, Mr Dao survived his first two halloween parties, though the one today we arrived at so late as to be partyendingcrashers vs real partiers. He didn't go down for his nap til 1:30 pm so was a bit late getting up too! He is a black cat for Halloween, yes I was insane and sewed the costume from scratch, copying his sleepersfor size. I figured that other than a squirrel or a dog, a cat was the most desirable thing for him to be. He has never seen a cow, I think a turtle doesn't enter his consciousnes yet, and a dragon or a knight? Hopelessly abstract to him. Maybe he understands stories in Chinese? But certainly in English, the more concrete and within his experience realm the better. The only storybook he really likes has a kid picking up her toys, having a bath and putting on pyjamas. It is four spreads long (ie 8 pages), and has the kid going NOOOOO!!! so we can shake our heads wildly when reading it. NOt a lot to work with there for halloween costumes.

But he LOVES cats, and they flee him madly, so they are all the more desirable. He shrieked putting on the costume (he kept shaking his head no and pointing to the crib: I think he thought it was fluffy black sleepers and I was putting him to bed!!), hated putting on the makeup but seemed ok with it when I let him see in the mirror (a quick black nose, three whisker lines on each side!... very minimal) and said "kitty kitty!" He made the sign language for kitty next to his whiskers and seemed satisfied to not rub it all off.

The party yesterday he was a terror, commandeering the bowl of cheezies on the coffee table (I am pretty sure he is used to each kid having a serving in their own small bowl), and whacking any child who came close to take one! He was covered in crumbs and orange dye from his forehead to his knees. He had a great time playing with the 4 yr old hostess's play kitchen, putting all the cars in the microwave and then the over. Yay for small collectible objects, a space to put them in and a door that opens and closes. Let's say he is not very advanced in the make believe dept yet... just dumping objects from container to container. (though he does identify the dog and cat wooden puzzle shapes and makes the sign language for them). He took a fit when he couldn't grab all the other kids' drinking boxes out of their hands (and you should see him with a drinking box... just squeezes it so it goes all over him. With his hole in his palate he can't suck through the straw so to him he HAS to squeeze it to get liquid out). Anyways he ended up ornery and sweaty in his cat outfit and we came home where he was happy and sweet and smiley again!

Today they had a gymnasium with things like balloons and ridem cars, so he was a much happier boy. He really is a bit young for Halloween and really doesn't care about scary music, dark spooky atmosphere and costumes.

We'll see how Halloween itself goes.
nite nite
Cluttergirl

Peddles

Thanks to everyone who has left a comment so far on what to buy a two year old. (see previous post) If you would still like to give suggestions, I would be very happy for them, since in another month after his birthday it will be Christmas.

But I would like to address the pedal issue.

First, the Wheelybug is already ordered and is a gift from my mother.
So, no peddles on the wheely bug.

But I want to sell you on this.

Now, we live up here in Canada. We will have snow in November. Through til probably end of April. That means riding in the house. A (cluttered, remember!) house with lots of small interconnected rooms coming off a hallway. No basement to speak of, so we are not talking about a huge playroom space either.

I don't know if you have ever tried to manoeuver a vehicle with wheels in small spaces. Well, he already has a small radio flyer wagon. Is it great for going straight? And forward? Yes it is. But it is hell to turn around tight corners. Which is the case with most small ridem vehicles. And ever tried to turn a tricycle on a small radius? Yup, tips over. So, either one is stuck in corners and needs somehow to back up (not the easiest to do with pedals) or one needs to turn tightly.

The beauty of the wheelybug is that it is an inside toy with casters, like your office chair. It can turn on a dime. In fact it can spin on the spot. It can back up, go sideways etc as easy peasy as pie. And it will be GREAT on hardwood floors.

Now, the wheelybug is sussed out, shopped for, bought and should be here within days. So that is a non issue. I was going to buy him the wheelybug (but my mom is) so that is why I am stuck for ideas a bit.

Next issue: pedals.

1) Small son has very very short legs. Read 10" inseam. I have yet to see the pedal vehicle he can touch the pedals on.

2) I think it is better for him to learn to move his legs in all directions at this time when he falls over just walking and standing. He needs to work on gross motor skills. Remember he is from an orphanage, has only been walking on non-interior non-flat surfaces for about 6 weeks.

3) I think that people really put the cart before the horse by going with pedals before balance in bicycles. I think that little cars with pedals and also tricycles are great, but they really need enough space to get going. Ever tried getting pedals going in five feet and then already needing to turn? egads. They are great for outdoors.

But I think that one of the major problems with bicycles is balance AND the fact that when you peddle, thew weight and forces of your body pushing constantly moves the balance. I personally learned at 6 years old. Not coming on to two years. My bodily coordination really wasn't that bad, and I learned to balance and peddle with just a couple lessons. (in the summer, not Nov inside).

I am really really against trainer wheels, as I don't think they train you to do anything except ride offbalance. I see all the time kids using trainer wheeled bicycles as a wonky tricycle. Ie the whole bicycle is keeled to one side, with the weight on one trainer wheel (the other in the air). Why do this? Buy a tricycle if the kid cannot balance.

Anyways, after the wheelybug, he is going to get a Likeabike in the spring. Because two year olds CAN balance, and need to learn balance, for running, and walking and climbing etc. Two year olds can't coordinate bicycle pedals, steering, brakes, balance all at once. But they can very easily balance and zoom along. And then when they get a bike they just need to deal with the brakes and pedals. They won't have the fear of falling as they understand already by experience that a two wheeled vehicle just flies along when it is balanced properly.

So, thanks for all the pedal suggestions. Really, it is not going to happen. Not now, not til springtime at least, and possibly not for years. I have no space for huge pedal cars, tricycles tip and are slow and not the best thing for our totally horrid sidewalks (huge tree roots cracking up and making them crooked every few feet). Maybe his grandma will buy him a trike next summer and I'll have to drag it to the park across all those streets...

But in the meantime, we're going with the simpler, less mechanical. It's just a matter of taste I guess.
thanks for the suggestions, and keep them coming!

Toys for a Two Year Old

So, what are your best suggestions for a birthday present for someone just turning two?? I was going to get the Dao a Wheelybug ridem toy, but my mother is now going to get that for him (me and my big helpful mouth).

Should I go for a doll he can put in the bath? (he totally loves his baths and now mostly has a collection of little containers, ladles, a couple boats... which he uses as containers, strainers) Pretend cut-up food? Or this selection of food?

A digital camera (so maybe I can put him off mine a bit?) (and hey, it is $59 in the States and $89 in Canada though our dollar is on par now!!) A play phone? (got any good brand recommendations?) Other stuff? He is not into puzzles yet... though I have used some of the pieces from Melissa and Doug ones as little animals that walk and make noises, so he does that now "woof woof!" He has way too many books.

He has wooden blocks, and playdoh and finger paints and washable markers. Yah know, I was an indulgent mama before I even adopted him. So now I am stuck trying to figure out what else to get him for his birthday. Agh!! Help me!!

Older?

It is funny to me that I am 44. I don't feel 44, though I don't know what 44 feels like. I don't feel like when I was 18, or 25 or even 35. I was way slimmer and sexier at 38, and had way more desire to go out and party. Though when I was about 31 I wanted to nest and stay home and have babies, so maybe I'll want to go out and party again when I am 48.

But I really worried about being too old to be a new mom. I called a bunch of friends who were new moms in their 40's to see what they said before I started trying to adopt. I worried it would be overwhelming, too much. The first book I read on adoption was "Post-Adoption Depression". I remembered how obnoxious and difficult I get when overstressed and worried about alienating every friend I have. I remembered how my body suffered when I worked too much: I was at the chiropractor, physiotherapist, radiologist. And how all that disappeared when I had less work. I worried I'd just be a stressed out mess of a mom, condemning my child to a life of living with an overworked depressed mom.

Well, it may happen yet, but for now, things are going great. I don't have everything done, I had to get an extension on a work project I didn't get finished, but I am juggling everything and still getting eight hours of sleep at night (god bless the child who sleeps through the night and wakes up the same time every morning). I am managing to get the floor swept twice a day (but not the vacuuming done), the dishes washed after every meal, the laundry is all done (or we run out of clothes and cloth diapers for him... all those adorable clothes? in the closet... we need more mud pants!) I am cloth diapering. I managed to make a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving (we're in Canada, eh!). We get to the park, and play with playdoh and I remember to wash my hair every second day (but have had only two full baths since getting home a month ago!) I am slowly getting my contract done (enough so that I feel comfortable writing a blog entry with my time) despite the time that being a mom to a toddler takes.

No, weirdly, I find that it is going fine. I am not stressing. I am not feeling overworked, or like I need a break or else, or depressed, or whatever. Maybe it is just a honeymoon phase, though I think that was over when we got back from China. I tell ya, children are ADORABLE when you have room service. !! :D

But I do feel I am older. Every day I feel good and fine, and then I fall into bed, and in the morning (and sometimes in the middle of the night) I wake up and my body ACHES. yes, ACHES. My hips and my arms. I rubbed my face with my hands just now and my arms ache. As if I have been working out, and neglecting to leave days off between workout days, so my body can build muscle. As if I have been working out too much and my tendons and ligaments are taking a beating and I need to take time off for them to heal. My lower back hurts when I wake up, and my shoulders. And I think... there isn't going to be a break. OK, maybe he'll walk more himself, and can see without being lifted up, and won't want to be carried so much by the time he is um.... 4? 6? My gosh, by then I'll be 48. my my my.

So yeah. I don't "feel" older, but i notice my knees are older. And my arms can't hold him quite so long as the first week....

But it's ok.

I am a mom.
:D

Every dog

When you see a woman with a two year old lying on the sidewalk, refusing to walk and screaming because his mama will NOT let him go across all the 6foot tall locked construction barricades to play in the playground under construction (I admit the equipment is pretty darn appealing, being brightlycolored, brand new and full of slides etc), and her 8 month old Saint Bernard is yanking at the leash as she sees a cat (also on the other side of said fencing)... and she is trying to get the two year old to stand up, and trying to get the dog to stop yanking and sit down, and not able to give her undivided attention to either...

.... do NOT say:

"Every dog has his master, ma'am."

What sort of stupidity is that?
Perhaps I am the wrong master because my dog, behind my back, when I am not watching it, pulls towards a strange cat??
Perhaps everyone should give their dog up to the SPCA if it doesn't listen while the distracted owner is trying to deal with a screaming two year old? In the hopes that "his master" will show up, you know, The One for whom the dog will neither pull when it sees a cat, and stop pulling immediately when told to?

Poor dog, she sprained her leg the other day roughhousing (read, running at high speeds and crashing into and onto eachother with another 100 lb dog), and is now confined to quiet walks on the sidewalk... let's just say that that is not enough to drain the wild play energy of an 8 mo old Saint puppy... and here she was being asked to stand still multiple times while the Dao sat on every step on the way to the park, and now as he refused to advance, screaming and kicking if I carried him, laying on the ground and shrieking in tears if I put him down. Poor dog. I'd want to chase cats too!

Anyways, I got angry at the guy, held out her leash and pointed at the kid and said "think you could do better?" and he made "blahblahblahblah" movements with his hand at me, sneering as he walked off.

Thank god the stupid man passing didn't tell me "Every child has his mother" too.

He might be the one lying on the street crying unable to get up.
Sheesh.

... and someone said "doesn't sound like the Dao has a touch of the Terrible Twos yet". hmmm, well.

Let's just hope that tomorrow they have removed the brandnew playground equipment from in front of our park, which will not be ready for the public for another two months. Or pray for me, and the dog.
;D

Home!!

OK,
Well, I didn't adopt from Fosteradopt. In some ways I am sorry, cuz I can't be a soulmate to Baggage, though I found her because she was a single woman in a precarious dating situation, like me, trying to become a mom through foster care. We have just gone different ways. Because I had signed up to sign up for a waiting list (that means the waiting list was full and I was waiting to be on a waiting list) for singles to adopt from China. And I thought it would go nowhere. And I took the fosteradopt classes, thinking I'd have a kid in my house before the china adoption agency even wait-listed me.

Wrong. Someone dropped out (well, actually sped up) and so a space opened up, and everything went so fast. I already had my references in and background check done for the foster adopt, but they weren't getting around to even calling me for a homestudy when the China thing came through. By the time the foster adopt called me to see if I wanted to go ahead, my dossier was winging its way to China.

And now I am back for three weeks, after two weeks travelling around China. Which is a beautiful amazing country with friendly sociable people and tons of pollution and great food.

And I am the proud mom of a little boy who is just now 23 months old. We'll call him the Dao, cuz he is a study in contradictions just like most Daoist texts: he is a ball of energy and yet so laid back, very serious yet very witty and funny, sensitive and caring yet endlessly unflappable. Well, ok, you get the picture. He looks like Buddha Smiling (I bought a ceramic figure that looks JUST like him when he grins).

So I am blissfully ensconsed in washing cloth diapers (yes, thankfully he isn't toilet trained so I don't have to deal with bedwetting, rushing to find public toilets where none are to be found etc), trying to put socks on a whirlwind, refereeing "fights" between a toddler and a toddler dog, and wiping down the table, chair and floor.

Incredibly I am NOT dealing with sleepless nights, nightmares, developmental delays, attachment problems, social problems and all that I expected from adoption, be it foster adopt or international adoption. He was in the same orphanage from the very start of his life, and I think he had excellent care (certainly he ate enough!) and had a lot of consistency in caretakers. He was attached to them and made strange to me, and now he is very attached to me. He will wave at strangers allo!, and shake their hands (wo wo shou... a big thing for wee Chinese children to do to each other), but doesn't like comfort from other people, and reaches out for me.

He is very physical and is always squishing mud, putting his head to things to hear the sounds (who knew that if you put your ear to the lamppost and tap it, it goes cling cling cling?!), throwing things, running around, hitting things. He delights in being thrown about as if he was on a ride at the exhibition. People ask "has he never thrown up when you fling him about like that?" the answer is no. He grins, giggles, squeals with delight and insists I do it again.

He is also very persistent when he finds something fine motor to do such as putting a straw in a drinking box hole, putting a headphone plug into the headphone jack, putting a screw into holes drilled in wood etc. His new thing is trying to do and undo those quickrelease clips found on backpacks, booster seat harnesses etc. He is the shits at those "put the shape into the similar, painted, hole" wooden puzzles though.

He is in love with steps (going up and down them, sitting on them), gates and doors (opening and closing them), water (esp taps and the dog water dish), food (boy the kid can eat! But no fresh or crunchy veg please), and the dog. Actually any animals. He squeals when he sees squirrels, birds, cats, dogs, turtles... And city busses! Thank god! His mama was worried that he would be into trucks and cars, and she is a bike and public transit person. But hey, a couple times on city buses, and he LOVES them!! Well, they ARE big and make a LOT of noise when they pass.

OK, it's my bedtime.
But I am finally not taking naps anymore, sort of caught up with work etc, and found the time to make a blog entry. More soon about how my babyproofing went, the joys of being a toddler mom etc.

Sorry for the long absence. But funny, how when you are a new mom, some living breathing running laughing little guy is more attractive than the computer and your desk chair!

gnight.
cluttergirl, proud mama to the Dao.